I love a short joke, oneliners are to jokes what haiku is to poetry. I like to tweet oneliners every now and then, if you follow me on Twitter you know this. Some of these tweets go down well and others get the tumbleweed response. This list is based on the oneliners that fared best on Twitter for me (most retweets and comments), so they have been tried and tested. Feel free to steal them and use yourself, just like I have stolen them from other people on Twitter, Facebook, Google Plus and everywhere else on the internet.